I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My vagina is officially offended.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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