i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
