i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize