Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
