Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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