you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
