i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
