when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
