Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Randomize
