Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
The air taste purple.
Randomize
