your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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