The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
