What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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