saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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