Farmville is her only friend.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize