Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize