just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
