My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
