Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
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