My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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