And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Randomize
