Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
