I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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