No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize