so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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