i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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