does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
