rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
