but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
