the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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