just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
