READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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