I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
