I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
What a fucking waste of an outfit
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
