Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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