dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
