you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize