haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Text me some of your sweat
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
