You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
