Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
