I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
