I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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