Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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