TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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