you would pick up someone in the library
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
