3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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