The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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