i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
