but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
