can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
