i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I can text with my tongue
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
