I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
