Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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