As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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