There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
