Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
