Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
