I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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