the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
