She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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