About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
