People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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