I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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