turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
