it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
