Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
